Why do old women cry?

I find that getting older tends to bring about some changes that I loath/laugh at. I'm not talking about the usual physical and biological changes of middle aged woman hood. I'm not so self centered that I'm going to drone on about becoming old and frumpy.

I had my fourth knee surgery a couple months ago. It was a new and exciting way to celebrate Valentine's Day. No, that wasn't really my plan. I was however told that based on the poor condition of my knee, I'm already and candidate for joint replacement. Getting old sucks! Ok, so I'm not exactly a candidate for the cover of Runner's World or anything. I honestly had hopes of getting in shape, a shape other than round, and being more active. It's funny how motivating a threat such as knee replacement can be. I've been rather quiet for a while about some of the steps I've taken to try and be just a bit more healthy. In all honesty, I plan to blame/thank my brother Pete.

Pete came by for a visit a week after my knee surgery. It's always nice to spend time with a fellow Mac devotee. Also, he's my big brother, what's not to like? (we'll skip the trauma he induced in my youth...it was his job...and I'm sure I deserved some of it). Oh, back to why Pete is the reason for me trying to be...better.

The bitch showed up weighing less than me! There are 8 years and at least 3 inches of height between us. I should never weigh more than my big brother. Call it selfish logic if you will, but it all makes sense in my head. Anyway, so Pete and his wife jumped on the calorie counting bandwagon and have been losing weight like it's money to spend. It wasn't until I was around someone making big changes that I saw the train wreck that my health was becoming. My blood pressure was too high, my weight was at a number that I don't want to talk about, and overall, I felt like garbage. And I'm a candidate for knee replacement. Somehow the bright light of good intentioned change finally came on above my head. After he left, I did a lot of thinking. I have friends who swear by P90X, others who think beer is the key to weight loss, and a few friends who adore Weight Watchers. P90X isn't really an option yet, my knee is still too unstable for much beyond walking. Beer, well, I'm basically allergic to it, so that was out. Weight Watchers however, is free for me. I work for a company that recognizes good health leads to lower insurance, a stronger workforce...blah blah blah. And because they see that, they will pay for weight loss programs.

Ok, I said it, I joined Weight Watchers. It took me a long time to realize that I wasn't doing such a great job of self directing my life. We've all been told a time or two that recognizing we need help is a huge step. In 8 weeks I've lost 12 pounds, my blood pressure is lower, and I don't feel like stale dog poop in an old grocery bag. I still have more to lose, but I don't weigh much more than my big brother anymore. I also seem to have a much greater wardrobe, as all kinds of clothes fit me now. In all of this, I've learned the vegetables are yummy, I'm addicted to carrots, and sometimes...ok, most times...change is good. Getting back to some sort of exercise is the next step...baby steps.

The one thing that Weight Watchers can't answer for me is this whole issue of getting older and somehow becoming more emotional. I have always prided myself on being the person who doesn't cry at movies. Don't ask my why I pride myself on this. I honestly have no idea. Anyway, I was never one to get misty over a Hallmark commercial, cry at weddings, or any of that sappy stuff. My body seems to have decided that this will now change.

I'm 34, I joined Weight Watchers to lose weight...and I get misty over sappy things now.

WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!

Weight loss is good...becoming an emotional basket case...not so good. I oppose getting old.

My own Christmas Miracle

I spent a few weeks worrying about Christmas this year. This is the first year that I will be waking up without family or loved ones by my side. I have plans to see dear friends through the day, but waking up alone was for some reason terrifying to me. I have some to terms with it...as my brother always says to me "It is what it is". Tonight...the heavens above smiled upon me. No, I didn't bring a woman home for Christmas Eve. Seriously, if I did would I be posting on a blog right now? Give me a little credit.

This years Christmas Eve was full of small miracles that remind me of all that is beautiful and amazing. It started with a facebook post from one of my favorite former managers. Seems she bought quite the awesome toy for her 4 year old son this year...but alas, a change in life left her without tools this Christmas. Being the helpful sort that I am, I was happy to lend a hand and some tools. And when have I ever passed up a chance to build stuff? It was a small hour of my day, filled with fun conversation and knowing that I was building a toy that would make a boy smile for many months.

I came to enjoy a little nap before church. Despite my varied religious opinions and beliefs, I loved attending Christmas Eve services. Lucky for me the Unitarian Universalist church always has a good one. I began attending the church a few months ago. There is something that just feels good about spending a Sunday morning in the company of like minded people and taking a moment to appreciate what life has to offer. I was excited to attend Christmas Eve service with this new group of people that have so graciously welcomed me to their spiritual home. I arrived ten minutes before the service was to start and was so happy as I entered the door. I love when a service has a candlelit component to it. There is something so overwhelmingly peaceful when a church is lit by candles. I grabbed a seat near the back, amongst a row of empty seats and patiently waited for the service to start. At first I was worried about how empty the church seamed, and them I remember I was attending a UU service. UU's aren't know for their punctuality. As I sat reading over the order of service, an older woman came walking up with that "Where should I sit look". I motioned for her to join the empty aisle I was sitting it and she graciously accepted. I should send her a thank you card. With her sat her daughter, who held in her beauty that would make Matisse cry with joy.

I laugh about it because as I got ready for church tonight, I made sure to look nice and smell good. You never now when you might meet a beautiful woman, you had best be prepared. As we sat through the service she laughed at my terrible jokes which I take as a good sign. Her mother made it a point to tell me that her daughter teaches the Thursday Yoga classes at the church. I think I need to go out and buy a Yoga mat...I swear she might have been a Christmas Angel.

I have no idea if she is a fan of the fairer sex...and frankly I don't care. I will be happy for days thinking about this woman who has a smile that you feel blessed to bring out and eyes that you could stare into for days.

I have much to be thankful this year. Today, I feel like I'm on top of the world. I sat next to one of the most stunning women I have ever seen, and she wished me a Merry Christmas with that smile of hers.

Heart of an Athlete

I love sports. Go ahead and say it, "You're a lesbian, of course you love sports!" It's not quite as simple as that. I have loved sports for as long as I can remember. In my youth, I had grand plans of being a world champion kick ball player. Between my ghost runners and myself, we were a pretty aggressive team. When I got in Middle School, as soon as I was able I joined the cross country team. It was the first fall sport I could participate in that interested me. Volleyball held no appeal...and today the only appeal of that sport to me is women's beach volleyball. I'll leave you to figure that out on your own. Cross Country was not what I had envisioned. Somehow I thought that since I was young and passionate...I would be great. Sadly, I was a bit chubby, and not even slightly in shape. Dreams of being the best cross country runner quickly died. Later that year I have basketball a try. To date, it's still one of my favorite sports to watch. I didn't last long, as I wasn't as tall or fast as any of the other girls on the team. I did stick around to be a fabulous team manager though. I finished the rest of my middle school days on stage. Who knew that theatre would be a bigger and brighter passion for me.

High school came along, and I actually made the varsity girls basketball team my junior year. However, other passions took priority over basketball, so once again sports took a back burner to other pursuits. I spent all of my college days on a stage in one way or another, but I still loved sports.

After college I got talked into playing rugby. Rugby to this day is a sport that I love blindly and with complete passion. I think I was ok at rugby, but I can't be sure. In our minds we all think we are world class players, at least for a little while. Injury came along and kept me from sports ever since. I have had 4 surgeries in the span of 3 years. Every time I think about getting back into some sort of athletic pursuit...injury shows up.

Upon returning to Colorado, a friend foolishly thought that asking me to play softball was a good idea. Lesbians are all great at softball, right? Allow me to introduce my ability to defy all convention. I am terrible at softball, running around the bases is a daunting and exhausting task for me. Also, there seems to be an orange bag at first base now that holds some importance....who knew?

As I get older, I accept the fact that maybe participation in sports isn't for me. It doesn't keep me from having a few dreams that I'd like to see come to true...dreams that I will keep to myself for now. Just know that I am great for being to person to attend live sports with. I will cheer and root for whichever team you tell me to. After the sporting event I will talk about becoming the best and brightest fan...and it will last a few fleeting minutes until something else comes along. I have yet to figure out of this means that I don't have the heart to be an athlete or if it means that I have severe ADD.

EDIT: Within hours of writing this post, my knee reminded me of it's power, or lack there of...again. Once again I can't straighten my leg or put any weight on it.

The more things change

As I was leaving work today I was chatting with a friend about all sorts of nonsense, and he mentioned that I should write a blog. I laughed, because aside from personal venting on LJ, I haven't touched this blog in over a year. After some thought I figured what the hell...I've got the time. I read through old posts and deleted the ones that had to do solely with my ex. She is still mentioned from time to time in the old posts...and really, we can't erase history no matter how much we try to ignore it.

So, once again, I'm back to blogging. I can't promise anything deep or profound, but it is a chance to get inside my head from time to time. And in honor of the man who albeit foolishly convinced me to head back into blogging...let's discuss peer pressure.

The holidays are upon us and I am often quoted as saying "I hate holidays". This typically generates a response from people that I know telling me that I don't actually hate holidays. Yes, yes I do. However, it's not for the reasons that people readily consider. See, I am terrible with expectations, and I have an amazing tendency to self impose some insane expectations. With the onset of the holidays I find that people expect others to act a certain way. Some expect certain greetings during the holidays, others are offended by greetings, and some altogether just try to avoid the topic.

I'm not a huge fan of Christmas decorations or trees or any of that other nonsense. Frankly I find trees to be a royal pain. Real or fake they are messy and take all sorts of time to decorate and make pretty enough for the people you think might see them. I have very few visitors at my home, and even fewer of those few visitors will be around during the holidays. All the talk of trees and decorating and such....I admit it, I caved. I bought a tree. My old tree is with mom in Alaska, I wasn't worried about needing one when I moved back to CO. The one small bonus of having a tree is Rudolf. See, I can't stand all the chaos at holidays, but I LOVE LOVE LOVE Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer. I could start a speech about how Rudolf was one of the original pioneers of surviving bullying and teaching diversity...but I'll save that for the day I am on a pulpit. Yep, I did something because I felt like I was expected to. Talk about peer pressure at its best.

And for the record, I hate holidays and other celebrations because in my twisted brain I think people expect certain reactions from me. I'm afraid that I won't live up to the expectations of others and how they hope I will react to any variety of things. This curses me both personally and professionally. Think I'm kidding? Just ask about the time I had a crying meltdown when I found out that my dear mother was throwing me a surprise birthday party...I was terrified that my reaction to the "surprise" wouldn't live up to the expectations of the guests. So, if you see me shy away from celebrations, it's not that I don't want to enjoy a good time. It's because I'm convinced that whatever my reaction is to the event that I will disappoint you.

Oh, and after looking back over the old posts...I still work in insurance, and in a call center. And I still hate people who scream at me thinking things will change...and I still want more for myself. We'll see how that goes.

Saving the Scarecrow

I haven't posted to this blog in nearly a year. Nothing seemed all that worth posting after my post about Rick. It took me a long time to realize why he meant so very much to me. When I started working at the YSU Planetarium, I had just lost my job in the YSU theatre department. One could argue the reasons as to why I lost that job, but today none of that really matters. At the time I thought that theatre was my whole life, and losing a job in theatre, I felt like everything that I had been working for was lost. Working in the planetarium showed me just how much more to performing there was in the spectrum of things. I would never have seen any of that if it weren't for Rick.

My entire life changed direction in the time that I worked for Rick, and I don't know that I could ever really capture in words just how much I owe him. The night that Kate called me to tell me that Rick had first suffered his heart attack I began thinking about how I would show the world how much this man meant to me. Initially I thought I might get a tattoo of a scarecrow. Somewhere I have a picture of Rick dressed as a scarecrow for Halloween, and to this day it is one of the most enduring images I have of this man. Over time, the idea of a memorial sundial in honor of Rick began to take shape. It was then that I knew a tattoo of a sundial was the right tattoo. (yes, tattoo, I'm a permanent kind of gal) There is a very simple yet very beautiful sundial in the Forbidden City in Beijing that speaks to me. I'm sure it has to do with the fact that so far all of my tattoo's have been Chinese. My goal is to have this sundial represent the time of 10:15, the day Rick passed.

I just learned that the design for the Rick Pirko memorial sundial has been approved. I am hoping to get my hands on a picture of the design, as that would be beyond perfection for the tattoo I want. However, if I can't get that, the sundial I have chosen will work out just as well.

What makes the whole thing even more "right" is that I will be getting this tattoo the weekend that I attend a protest march, and see Kate and Tim. It feels like the weekend is designed by Rick...and I wouldn't have it any other way.

So long scarecrow

Waiting for someone to pass is easily in my top five of worst feelings in the world. Last night I got word that a former boss, and all around amazing person is not going to be with us much longer. Rick Pirko was the definition of non-conformist, he did things for humor and the pursuit of knowledge. He has the heart and mind of a curious child most days. Rick was never arrogant, and never once would I question if he would be there if I needed something.

It seems that Rick's heart stopped suddenly yesterday, and know we're all in this awful waiting game. It seems fitting however that Rick would go at his favorite time of the year. If you ever had the opportunity to see the Halloween Laser light show at the Ward Beecher Planetarium in Youngstown, you enjoyed a genuine treat. It is because of the planetarium that I have some of my closest friends...in the least, we became better friends because of that place. I have many memories of very late nights getting ready for the most attended show at the planetarium. I will never forget watching Rick take a broken piece of a band saw blade to a belt sander and filing it down into one of the sharpest damn knives I ever held. It was with those knives that we carved countless pumpkins grown from Rick's own garden. Most of the decorations for the show were from Rick's garden....Rick is the only man I have ever known to eat raw pumpkin with sheer joy on his face.

When Tim and Kate got married, Rick and I were partners in the wedding party. The planetarium clearly was a special place for Tim and Kate, as they held their wedding their. I can't imagine ever forgetting Rick and I dancing at the wedding...apparently I led the whole time. A brilliant awkward man and a lesbian made for a dreadful dance pair...thankfully all eyes were on the newly married folks.

To this day one of my favorite stories about Rick has to do with his fight for religious freedom. It may not be as noble as that, but I will always tell the story that way. See, anytime Rick would stay in a hotel, he would open the drawer on the bed stand and smile when he saw the bible ever so generously placed there by the Gideon's. Before leaving the room, Rick would steal the bible. He must have had 100 bibles the last time I saw the collection he so proudly would show everyone in his office at the planetarium. If I could have one item to remember Rick by, it would be one of those bibles. I know that I have never stayed in a hotel since knowing Rick without thinking about taking the bible with me. For all we know, it could be a Muslim staying in the room, and I doubt there are any free copies of the Koran laying around. Not that it matters, but Rick is a very proud atheist...but if you need a bible, he would gladly hand you one of the countless copies sitting in a drawer.

As far as I know, Rick is still alive, at least in the medical sense of the word. I'm sitting here at work waiting to hear...and in my own way praying that he will pull out of this. I almost expect Rick to suddenly wake up and wonder why everyone is sitting in a hospital room staring at him. If I were in Ohio right now, I would head to the truck stop by his house and have a bowl of truck stop chili...and then go to bw's and raise a glass in his honor.

Without a doubt, Rick Pirko is one of the best things that I got from YSU.

Needing more

Having worked in call centers for nearly 4 years, I have mastered customer service and sounding as if I care.  In the past few weeks I have developed complete and total hatred of my job.  Either I'm becoming over sensitive (which I doubt) or customers are getting meaner.  I've had more people scream at me in the past few days than I care to count.  I respect that everyone is having money issues, and that auto insurance seems like a racket.  However, does anyone realize that nothing I say or do will change anything in the minds of the executives?  When I first began working for the big P, there was a great deal of opportunity for advancement, which is something I have always wanted.  I'm entirely too smart and driven to sit at a desk answering phones for the rest of my life.  In moving to Colorado, I was advised that there weren't many opportunities for advancement.  I wish someone would have been honest...there are no opportunities out here.  It's great that I am getting my MBA, but it would be useless for me at work.  I learned earlier this week that IT people get a larger tuition reimbursement, once again reminding me that IT people are king at work, everyone else is there to keep IT working.  I have been applying and interviewing like crazy to just about anyplace.  I have my fingers crossed and am holding my breath that I get a call this afternoon from a bank.  It's another call center job, but there is a great deal of advancement opportunity, so I'm willing to tough it out long enough to move up the ladder.  For those who are the praying type...I could use any help I can get.

Christine and I are doing very well.  Communication is a billion times better, having had a handful of long talks has made all the difference.  Sadly Max has been sick all week, we think he might have pneumonia.  He goes back to the doctor today, so we'll see.

The loss of Stephanie Tubbs Jones has struck an odd chord with me...I feel quite saddened by it all.  Political opinions aside, she did amazing work for women, blacks, and Cleveland.

I need a new job, before I lose my mind.

grrr

a post is coming, I promise...

but on an un-related note. today sucks...it's one of those days where I don't make enough to deal with the amount of stupidity that I am being attacked with.

Getting my Gay on

It's gay pride month, which usually means all sorts of events filled with rainbows and extreme gayness. When we first moved to Colorado, we were worried about where we might find community. Little by little we are finding nice places to spend time and such. Tomorrow we get to celebrate our gayness. It's gay pride weekend in Denver, and as is that standard for pride events, all sorts of FABULOUS things are happening. Allow me to digress for a moment. In the past several years, I almost always enjoyed attending pride events in Cleveland. To me Cleveland was a small fesitval full of familiar faces. Columbus has a much bigger event, I once read that they usually have about 70,000 people show up. I always saw Columbus as a huge festival.

Denver, will be an all new experience. Aside from living in a relatively conservative state, I imagine I will see all sorts of gay cowboys, baby dykes, and hopefully some fabulous drag queens. Oh, and here's the kicker...Denver's festival anticipates their attendance of over 200,000.

HOLY GOOD GAYNESS BATMAN!!! Nearly a quarter of a million gays...Fred Phelps would want to pass out and die. Yes, pictures will be taken...and you can bet that I anticipate some rather large religous protests...and I will take pics of that too...nothing makes my pride festival as much fun at a 5 year old holding a sign that says "Turn or burn fag!"

Bon Voyage

I leave Cleveland today to head home.  I have had many thoughts about what home means, and I once thought Ohio would always be home for me.  The house I grew up in as a child is up for sale, and it is in deplorable condition.  I had to laugh when it was discovered that in a matter of two years, it will be registered as a historical home and a special permit is required to tear it down.  It should have been wrecked long before I ever lived in it.

I enjoyed seeing my dear friends, as they are missed daily in Colorado.  I have a long list of things I want to accomplish once I return, and I look forward to the work.  I can't say that I will miss Ohio, but I will miss the loved ones I have here.  I hope that one by one they will come to visit.  Being here has shown me that my future is bright, but that bright future involves mountains, wildlife, and a family that I cherish.  

Flying blind

One of the aspects of living in Colorado Springs that takes some getting used to is the fact that I now live in a military town.  I have an army base about 20 minutes south of me, and about 15 minutes north of me is the Air Force Academy.  One of my favorite things about living near the academy is that almost every day driving home, I get to see cadets learning to fly in bi-planes.  This weekend I was able to see the Thunderbirds from work.  Today is graduation day for the cadets, traffic all along the freeway was very slow, and I think just about every police officer and state trooper was out making sure no one stopped along the freeway to watch the flight events.  Anyone who watches the news knows that our dear president gave the commencement address.  There have been a number of times in my life when I was in close proximity of the president.  I have never met one, and really, as a species, I'm not all that interested in politicians.  

My official stance on the upcoming presidential election is to wait until both the elephants and the asses have picked their front man or woman...and go from there.  The things that are important to me may not be important to who ever becomes president.  Perhaps it's because I don't fit the mold of what most lesbians are, but I'm not worried about marriage, adoption, or most other issues that the gay community unites over.  I want to be able to fall asleep at night knowing that I'm safe, that I will have a job, and that my family will have a roof over their head.  Maybe it's naive, but I have so little faith in politics, that I've almost stopped caring.  Maybe it's not the best way to view things, but it sure beats being stressed out at night watching the news listening to candidates argue over who is more wrong.

a useless piece of paper

The recruiter for the IT position I applied for called me.  Initially I was very excited, afterall, it would be a new challenge, a new work group, and all sorts of other good things.  I was informed that because I have a degree in English they aren't even going to consider interviewing me.  Now, IT help desk at Progressive is just like any other help desk...follow some steps, if those don't work, pass it along.   Not once did the recruiter ask me if I had any IT experience, they just judged the book by it's cover.  I told my boss that the entire situation was handled very poorly, and it makes me lose respect for the hiring practices of such a large company.  Oh well, I'll just keep trucking along and see what happens.

I was very excited to hear that Mr. Pistorius is able to run in the Olympics.  I will be even more excited if he takes home some medals.  I have learned a great deal in the past few years from Breda about all things amputee.  I'm thrilled that many major marketing campaigns feature amputee athletes do anything and everything.  Now that I'm focusing my MBA on marketing, I notice all sorts of little details.  

I had another interesting medical experience today. Not only did I see a doctor that reminds me so much of my brother it's scary...but I endured a new treatment.  Trigger point injections.  All totalled, it was 4 shots, two in the neck, two in the shoulders.  By the time I die I have a feeling that I will have had injections in all sorts of goofy places.  My eye still takes the cake at this point though.

Nelson

I can't even begin to express what a sad and pathetic disappointment this is. Once again our government not only drops the ball, but makes us look like fools in the process.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/2008-04-30-watchlist_N.htm

drilling

Everyone hates the dentist...at least a little bit. I tend to hate them more than most. I had the worst dentist a child could ask for early in life, and ever since, the mere mention of going to the dentist makes my stomach turn. My fear of going to the dentist has helped me build up an enormous bill, and I still have more work that needs to get done. I have been avoiding a root canal for 4 months. I finally bit the bullet, found a new dentist here in town, and tried not to throw up on my way to the office yesterday. I am a snob when it comes to dentists, if it doesn't look like they've spent a mint making the office pretty, I'm not going in. This guy, fits my bill for snobby.

So, after all is said and done, I didn't feel a thing, which makes me a very happy camper. Even better, when the novacaine wore off, my tooth didn't hurt. It was what happened at around 8:30 last night that shocked me most about my dental experience. My phone rang, it was the dentist calling me from his home to see if I was feeling ok. Any doctor that calls after a visit wins points in my book, but a dentist...oh yeah, he's getting all sorts of referrals through me.

I go back today for a regular exam and to schedule any other work that needs to be done. For the first time in years, I don't feel sick thinking about going to the dentist.

DT'S

Having had migraines since the age of 16, I don't think there is a medication I haven't tried. One particullarly nasty spell in college left me with a migraine for 10 months, and I had tried 27 different medications in that time. For the past several years I was seeing a doctor that I adored, as she listened, explained what she was prescribing and why, and laughed at all of my stupid jokes.

After moving to Colorado, the task of finding all new doctors is time consuming. I finally found a neurologist to treat my migraines, and what he told me after my first visit taught me more about my headaches than I had previously known. What was most interesting though, is his plan for treatment. For the past 15 years, not a day has gone by that I haven't taken some sort of medication to treat my headaches. This is all about to change. My doctor s taking me off of all of the medications I take, except for the birth control. Yes, I have already made all the jokes I can think of about lesbians taking birth control. The process however, is a touch rough. I have barely slept in several days, and has probably lost 5 pounds of water weight from sweating so damn much. If this is what a drug addict goes through coming off of stuff, my heart goes out to them. I know ultimately on the other side of this I will be a much healthier person, but the journey, well, it should make for some interesting blogging.

In other news, I started classes towards my MBA. It should be another interesting trek. The plans are in the works for our Cleveland trip. It looks like it's going to be about a week. Fire up the bbq's and bring on the good times! Chrsitine will be working for most of the trip, I will most likely set up shop in a coffee house and study a whole bunch.

So it begins...

plans are in the works for a June visit. I should know within the next week about all the final details. We think we're staying in downtown Willoughby. I will need Thai food...and a t-shirt from a certain brewery...and Donato's pizza....

stay tuned

Wild Ginger

After finding out that I am essentially allergic to wheat...learning what foods I could and could not eat was quite a challenge. Thai food became a favorite, especially Pad Thai. Rice noodles and I get along quite well. Christine also enoys Thai food, which makes going out for dinner lots of fun. We had a favortie Thai resturaunt in Cleveland...and I knew that I would feel quite at home once I found a good Thai place here in Colorado Springs. Not more than 10 minutes away is Wild Ginger. I swear they puts drugs in their food, as I could eat there every night. They have a soup that is to die for. We were a bit bummed out when we coudln't find Pad Ke Mao on the menu. They have all kinds of yummy options, but Christine and I both have our belvoed favorites. My favorite part of Wild Ginger is the wait staff. They are such fun.

The last time we went (we ate there twice in one week) Christine asked about Pad Ke Mao, and the waitress quickly responded with "We can make that, we just have so much on the menu...but yeah, we can make that". Christine was thrilled. So when all of you come to visit (hint hint), we are going to Wild Ginger.

I have made it my personal mission to eat my way through all of the curry dishes on the menu. And I have replaced my love of Thai Iced tea for Thai Iced Coffee....mmmmm yummy caffienated joy.

Thank you Wild Ginger, we love you

So long Uncle George

When I was a kid, every Christmas we would get together at my aunt's house for food and family. Over the years my father's side of the family didn't grow apart per se, but I don't know as we were ever super close. The last time I saw the bulk of my family in one place was during a family reunion when I was in my early 20's. It was nice to see that whole side of the family together. It seems that the family will all be getting together again this week...my Uncle George passed. He was 78, and while I haven't seen him in 10 years...it still sucks.

Until today, I never knew anyone in my family to pass. My grandparents all died before I was born. My head doesn't even know how to process things at this point. Sitting here at work, everyone with their petty bs is just unreal to me.

The notice says the services are private, I have no clue what that means. I can't be in town for any funeral or service...at least not physically. The weather out here is gloomy and cold, very much like Cleveland. I'm there in spirit.

Ah, Grover...

To this day I ahve never seen an episode of sesame street. I had afternoon kindergarten when I was a kid, so I learned to sleep in at an early age. Despite my children's tv deficiency, for many years, I was dear friends with Grover. I have to tell you, he's not blue, but he is tall...and has very messy handwriting. Back in my high school days I was friends with a guy who's signature was so messy that someone thought his last name was Grover. The name stuck, for many years. I haven't seen or heard from Grover in several years, until today. On slow days at work, I'll check into Myspace just to pass the time. And there he was, one of the funniest guys I have ever met, sending me a message. Low and behold he recently set up a myspace account, and he said I was one of the first people he went looking for. I'm pretty shocked by that, mostly because I don't think I'm all that note worthy. No, this isn't a pitty party, I just have always thought of myself as an average girl. I'ts been fun talking with him, we had some of the same friends in high school, although we went to schools that were nearly an hour apart. The last I had heard, he was planning on becoming a pastor...that didn't happen, and with all of my hang ups with organized religion, I can't say I'm unhappy for him. From the sounds of things, he's a very happy man, married, job, house...all those adults things we didn't really picture having in our high school days.

The timing of people showing up in your life never ceases to amaze me. I often wonder what happened to some people...others...not so much, but I suspect we are all like that. Today was my two year anniversary at work, and I talked with co-workers I haven't heard from in ages...and now friends from days of old are popping up. I don't know if it all has some grand cosmic meaning, but I enjoyed the people I talked to today.

Christine and I have been enjoying a very peaceful week. The things that weigh heavy on my mind are not inside my home...they are in far off places...and I hope that my semi-paranoid suspicions aren't true. Although time has taught me that when I have a gut feeling, I am usually right.

Spirit of the Games

For as long as I can remember, I have loved sports. I have tried to play a number of them, but my body prefers warming the bench. I have accepted that I will never be a world class athlete, but that doesn't stop me from watching all kinds of sports. Over the yearsI have come to dislike professional sports, as it becomes less and less about the sport, and more about the contracts, endorsements and other drama. There is one area of athletic contest that seems to not be polluted by consumerism, is the Olympics. Don't get me wrong, I know there is unbelieveable amounts of money thrown and sonsorships and advertising, but the athletes seem to be in it for the pure joy of competing. And I have been getting more and more excited about the upcoming summer games in China...until recently.

I have high hopes that the fighting, bickering, and finger pointing will come to an end. Threats of some countries not sending their athletes....it makes me a bit sad. On August 8, I want to be able to sit down and watch the opening cermomonies and enjoy all the the Olympics are to me...