Thursday, April 21, 2011

Why do old women cry?

I find that getting older tends to bring about some changes that I loath/laugh at. I'm not talking about the usual physical and biological changes of middle aged woman hood. I'm not so self centered that I'm going to drone on about becoming old and frumpy.

I had my fourth knee surgery a couple months ago. It was a new and exciting way to celebrate Valentine's Day. No, that wasn't really my plan. I was however told that based on the poor condition of my knee, I'm already and candidate for joint replacement. Getting old sucks! Ok, so I'm not exactly a candidate for the cover of Runner's World or anything. I honestly had hopes of getting in shape, a shape other than round, and being more active. It's funny how motivating a threat such as knee replacement can be. I've been rather quiet for a while about some of the steps I've taken to try and be just a bit more healthy. In all honesty, I plan to blame/thank my brother Pete.

Pete came by for a visit a week after my knee surgery. It's always nice to spend time with a fellow Mac devotee. Also, he's my big brother, what's not to like? (we'll skip the trauma he induced in my youth...it was his job...and I'm sure I deserved some of it). Oh, back to why Pete is the reason for me trying to be...better.

The bitch showed up weighing less than me! There are 8 years and at least 3 inches of height between us. I should never weigh more than my big brother. Call it selfish logic if you will, but it all makes sense in my head. Anyway, so Pete and his wife jumped on the calorie counting bandwagon and have been losing weight like it's money to spend. It wasn't until I was around someone making big changes that I saw the train wreck that my health was becoming. My blood pressure was too high, my weight was at a number that I don't want to talk about, and overall, I felt like garbage. And I'm a candidate for knee replacement. Somehow the bright light of good intentioned change finally came on above my head. After he left, I did a lot of thinking. I have friends who swear by P90X, others who think beer is the key to weight loss, and a few friends who adore Weight Watchers. P90X isn't really an option yet, my knee is still too unstable for much beyond walking. Beer, well, I'm basically allergic to it, so that was out. Weight Watchers however, is free for me. I work for a company that recognizes good health leads to lower insurance, a stronger workforce...blah blah blah. And because they see that, they will pay for weight loss programs.

Ok, I said it, I joined Weight Watchers. It took me a long time to realize that I wasn't doing such a great job of self directing my life. We've all been told a time or two that recognizing we need help is a huge step. In 8 weeks I've lost 12 pounds, my blood pressure is lower, and I don't feel like stale dog poop in an old grocery bag. I still have more to lose, but I don't weigh much more than my big brother anymore. I also seem to have a much greater wardrobe, as all kinds of clothes fit me now. In all of this, I've learned the vegetables are yummy, I'm addicted to carrots, and sometimes...ok, most times...change is good. Getting back to some sort of exercise is the next step...baby steps.

The one thing that Weight Watchers can't answer for me is this whole issue of getting older and somehow becoming more emotional. I have always prided myself on being the person who doesn't cry at movies. Don't ask my why I pride myself on this. I honestly have no idea. Anyway, I was never one to get misty over a Hallmark commercial, cry at weddings, or any of that sappy stuff. My body seems to have decided that this will now change.

I'm 34, I joined Weight Watchers to lose weight...and I get misty over sappy things now.

WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!

Weight loss is good...becoming an emotional basket case...not so good. I oppose getting old.